I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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