I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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