He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
this will be a night to untag.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I want her autograph on my taint
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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