to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
you made out with another girl for some wings
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
