My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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