I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
