called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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