So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
