ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
