I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
