oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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