hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Everything about him screamed your future.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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