I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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