Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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