She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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