covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
