we're blogging at a bar
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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