Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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