wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
