Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
