i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize