one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We had sex on a dog bed..
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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