He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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