You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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