One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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