He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
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it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
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NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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