Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I want a musical about memes.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
