Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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