Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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