I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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