I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
