Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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