I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
