you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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