i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
