At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
