Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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