btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
