just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
where are my eyebrows?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize