she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize