i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
