i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
