Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
