my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
