Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
