how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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