Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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