this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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