check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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