apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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