i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
