ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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