if i can run in heels then i can drive
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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