Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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