I cockslap morals
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
