Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
