i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
