You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Couch. On fire.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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