I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
