That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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