Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
