Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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