Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
