Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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